Ok today I had the opportunity to put my tips into practice when going shopping, listen to this:
I went into a shop to return a top that I had not yet worn but realised when I got it home that it was dirty. I went to the till with my receipt and asked for a refund on the money I had spent. The sales assistant responded in a very uncooperative way. She appeared very grumpy and quite unwilling to help my situation. She then told me (in a rude tone) that she was unable to refund my money as it had been worn. This took me by surprise as I hadn’t already worn it and it still had the tag on it, I tried to explain this to her but she wasn’t having any of it.
So…you can understand my annoyance when being faced with a sales assistant who had made an unjustifiable assumption and who had outright refused the request I had made. So, this would have been a brilliant time to put my top 5 conflict containment tips to the test, I could have taken my own advice and calmly and rationally spoken to the lady so that we could have negotiated and come to some sort of agreement that benefited me as the customer and also her as a member of staff. What a brilliant opportunity.
BUT this wasn’t what happened! Instead I resorted back to my old ways. I became irritated, defensive and stubborn. I demanded to speak to her manager and took great pleasure in telling the sales assistant that she needed to work on her customer service skills and reminded her of my consumer rights (using my most patronising tone). It was almost like I had a devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear egging me on in a mischievous manner.
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| If only we could all have a conscience like Jiminy |
Once having left the shop I thought to myself…. ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU’? How did I manage to go so backwards in my journey of becoming a communicating genius? Who else knows how this feels? It is so much more difficult than just following a simple set of rules when trying to deal with a conflict, when your faced with a situation your initial reaction isn’t to get your little note book out and refer to your top confrontation tips. So what other ways can we go about handling conflict so not to become a metaphorical monster?
I think when you get put in a situation where it's something personal to you that is being affected! In this case your money and being accused of being a liar, it is necessary to defend yourself! I've been in similar situations where i've just lost it! Did you manage to get your money back?
ReplyDeleteI did! But I think my tactics were a little less than desirable. I do agree, some times it is hard to steer away from the right path when something is at stake and you have no connection with the people you are in conflict with. However, not good practice. What was your situation? How did you handle it?
ReplyDeleteI recently had to take back a jumper that I bought, I had worn it once and managed to get a hole in it! I simply told the shop assistant this, after giving me an accusing look she made a huffing noise. So I childishly asked her what the huffing noise she had made was for!! She denied it. I similarly asked to see her manager and caused a scene in the shop! I got my money back of course :) it's just annoying they go to the hassle of stressing you out first though!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be more assertive like this! I feel like such a baby sometimes when I get into situations like these because I get scared that people will shout at me. Wish I could stand up for myself more like you did here. I really hate conflict, I'm quite a quiet person so find it difficult to tell people what I think when I don't know them or when I think they'll get annoyed with me.
ReplyDeleteHiya Ellen!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to how you must have felt, as you simply just wanted to return the item, especially when you are a customer you don't expect to be treated like that.
I think its good that you stood up for yourself when you are being put down. I believe that conflict is handled at it's best when the coversations are settled calmly and rationally.
Daisy xx